Perspective

One virtue lacking sometimes for us young mothers is perspective. You know, not sweating the small stuff, and realize that most things that we tend to worry about are A) things we can't change, B) things that don't really matter, or C) things that probably aren't going to happen the way we think.

I've seen mothers obsess over the microscopic fat content in their kid's chewable vitamins, I've heard of other mothers who cry that their preschool daughter can't add 100 + 50. And then, you know the type, the ones that only feed organic to their kids.

The fact is that a potato chip has more fat than 50 vitamins, that girl will probably figure out addition before she works at McDonalds at 16, and at some point, those organic kids are going to finally figure out what twinkies are.

My mom had a hard time balancing perspective. She was frustrated that her house wasn't clean when she had two preschool daughters. She felt embarassed when our neighbor's kids seemed more polite. She felt devastated to see her kids make mistakes, as if that was somehow not supposed to happen. The fact was, she was a great mom. She sewed us suitcases full of doll clothes, made bang-up birthday parties, taught us to beachcomb, and always found a good book to put in our hands. And she said "I love you" a hundred times a day and gave hugs to make sure our "love buckets" were always full.

But her lack of perspective eventually got the better of her. She fell victim to a "friend" that said, "You are a horrible mother, but I can make you a better one." So she began a relentless quest to "perfect" all her relationships, fearing that any imperfections in others were actually a reflection of her. Trouble was, most of the people she knew were imperfect, and it was just a matter of time before she drove everyone away, sadly, including her husband and kids.

Now, of course, this is sort of extreme, but I do think that sometimes we do far more damage to our kids by simply lacking proper perspective of life, than we would by just letting go a bit. We risk being unable to enjoy these years, or worse, prevent our children from enjoying them.

So sit back, relax, and remember, it's all small stuff.